I truly hate myself, I have constant inner monologues with myself about how I’m such a f*** up, I tell myself constantly that I was born a f*** up and I’ll die a f*** up. I’m a great musician with great parents and a really lovely household. But it’s never been enough, I drink a lot to validate myself and I’m lonelier than ever. Music is my best friend and all I have left. I make fun of those around me despite the fact my brain knows they’ll be worlds happier than I’ll ever be. I’ve never felt so alone to the point where I hope this might make me feel better but deep down I know it won’t feel better until I just stop existing. I don’t want to die, I just don’t really feel like living.