Ever had that feeling, that, as cliche as it may sound. Makes you feel like a speck of dust in comparison with those around you. The weight of everyone’s expectations that you never asked for, the feeling that makes you think that, in the grand scheme of things you’re nothing but a faulty cog in a machine we call society. Truth be told, I have no idea why I still feel this way, I’m fifteen too so maybe I’m sounding like an emo, though I haven’t really been one to show anything on the outside. faking a smile or a promise gets easier and sometimes you realize that it’s really for the best. Because hey, as long as person x y and z are happy maybe.. you’d get some time alone, maybe you’d blend in with the background, I am the quiet kid, often times bullied for it but that’s alright I don’t show any sign of it and my parents see me as a strong son who’ll make them proud despite all the abuse he’s witnessed and been subjected to, I’m strong in a sense for keeping up this act despite everything, but I’m also a weakling.

Quite frankly I don’t want to keep doing this for the next fifty years, It’s thoughts like this that make me feel too tired to even get out of bed or accomplish anything in life. I also consider myself a psychopath for not even shedding a tear whenever a family member would pass. Though I do envy them for being able to pass away peacefully like that.

Maybe if I jump off from a high enough place I won’t even feel it.