I live rurally on a tourist island. I am used to people coming and going, but mostly going. Earlier this year I started a whirlwind romance with promises of everlasting love, until he went back to his home country and decided it wasn’t what he wanted. Now I have met another man, who makes me neevous but excited, I want to get to know him but I have this dread that it’ll end up the same and I’ll just be hurt and alone again. I want more, but I also want to push him away because I don’t know if I can take being heart broken again. It was the first real heartbreak I have ever had, and now I might be facing a second because I’m too scared to try another long distance relationship. I’m scared I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life, I’m also scared of being heart broken. How do people go through heart break multiple times? They are stronger than I ever will be, and I can’t confess this to my friends because I am the strong one. How do I tell this guy that I want to get to know him and I don’t want it to end when he gets on that plane? I’ve known him 3 days and I know I want more time with him. In my real life I’m a cynic, I’m jaded, I am a player who uses men and slips out at the crack of dawn not to be seen again. These strong emotions scare me, they make me nervous, I don’t know how to deal with it. All I want is happily ever after, all I think I’ll get is a spinster lifestyle.