After 10 years, I have finally written out my suicide plan. I have ruminated over it for a very long time. There are many times when I came very close to just taking action. But at this point in time, I am just letting things run its course. If things do not go well for me over these 2 or 3 weeks, I already have a checklist of what I will do. I will need to check the spot first to ensure that discovery is very unlikely. I think I have dragged and postponed it long enough and had a lot of time to think about it. If things are okay after these 2 to 3 weeks, then I will keep it and look at it again in one year’s time. Since I have written it down, just as I mentioned, if things go wrong, I must go ahead with it. I won’t change my mind this time. When it is no written, I can still think of other things I want to do, but now… it has been written so I feel slightly more confident that I will be able to commit suicide successfully and without much pain.
