I’m part of a committee for a sport. I feel like I’m trapped in a cult, we are not allowed to speak about anything that goes on, I spoke, I trusted the wrong people and got into trouble, I feel so guilty. I feel like I want to die. I hate being in this sport, being on the committee, I hate everything about myself, I hate whatever comes out of my mouth, i hate that I can’t change anything in my tornument. I hate that I’m still alive, I’m a waste of space, I wish I was dead and didn’t have to deal with the pain and guilt