It’s agonizing. It won’t let up. I don’t want to feel this way. I know I need to step away from this. It won’t ever happen. I won’t ever be able to hold him in my arms. He won’t ever see me as more than a kindly little distraction, at best, sometimes. People tell him everything I’d ever want to say. They see it too. How many lovers has he had? They must have all been magnificent to draw his attention. So many creative, beautiful people. I’m just a shattered little fool with traumatic issues alone all the time. I have to make peace with that. Longing is a distraction and a waste of time. Still, I wish him nothing but love and peace. I hope he finds the one who completes his heart. Maybe he already has. I wouldn’t know. But I want him to be happy. He is beautiful and kind. I never belonged anywhere near him.