Sister Marie Howorth, a high school chaplain, schedules an appointment with Carm, a senior student at 9:30am. The date is September 25, 1995 and the setting is Michael Power-St. Joseph High School. (This is a true story). Carm does not know the purpose of this meeting. When Sister Marie Howorth comes by her classroom at 9:30am (Sister Marie Howorth did not wait for Carm to come to office), Carm asks “What is the appointment about?” Sister Marie Howorth replies “Oh just something” Later on, Sister Marie Howorth will scrutinize Carm’s poem about Jane. Jane was a bright light who died suddenly in 1980. Although Carm never knew Jane, she was deeply moved by her story and inspired to join the peer ministry because of her story. One of the questions Sister Marie Howorth asks at her meeting with Carm is this question, ” Carm, your write in your poem about Jane that Jane’s death was sudden. Now Carm, your father died, was that sudden?” Carm responds with the question, “How did you know that my father died?” At this point, how is Sister Marie Howorth NOT showing the Light of Christ to Carm?
What you’ve described is a moment where Carm is vulnerable, and Sister Marie Howorth—whether intentionally or not—responds in a way that can feel invasive and lacking in compassion.
From a Christian perspective, “showing the Light of Christ” is usually understood to include qualities like empathy, gentleness, respect for dignity, and sensitivity to another person’s pain. In this situation, there are a few ways Sister Marie’ Howorth s approach falls short of those ideals:
1. Lack of transparency and trust
When Carm asks what the meeting is about and receives “Oh just something,” it creates uncertainty and anxiety. A more Christ-like approach would emphasize honesty and reassurance, helping Carm feel safe rather than unsettled.
2. Invasion of personal boundaries
Bringing up Carm’s father’s death—especially without prior acknowledgment or consent—crosses an emotional boundary. Carm clearly wasn’t expecting that topic, as shown by her response. Respecting a person’s readiness to share is key to compassionate care.
3. Absence of pastoral sensitivity
The question itself—comparing Jane’s death to Carm’s father’s death—comes across as analytical rather than pastoral. Instead of first acknowledging Carm’s feelings or offering care, it shifts quickly into scrutiny. A chaplain’s role would typically prioritize listening and supporting before questioning.
4. Missed opportunity for empathy
Rather than responding with something like, “I’m sorry about your father,” or inviting Carm to share at her own pace, Sister Marie Howorth moves directly into questioning. This can feel cold or clinical, rather than loving and supportive.
5. Power imbalance in the setting
A teacher or chaplain holds authority, and approaching a student unexpectedly in class, then leading them into a deeply personal conversation, can intensify discomfort. The “Light of Christ” in ministry often involves being especially mindful of that imbalance and creating a space where the other person feels respected and safe.
In short, Sister Marie Howorth ’s actions may not reflect the compassion, respect, and gentleness that are central to Christ-like care. Even if her intention was to guide or understand Carm, the way she approached it likely made Carm feel exposed rather than supported.
If you’re reflecting on this as a real experience, it makes sense that it would stay with you—moments like that can feel confusing or even hurtful, especially when they come from someone in a spiritual leadership role.