2 years
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Mall management refused to pay my final paycheck due to all the complaints about my work and s***** harassment . I said thats fine I’ll take the pay out of your a**. I had one of my midget elfs grab his sharpened candy cane and jam it up the managers a** hole.
The elf jammed it in, shards of the cane breaking off as a red liquid dripped out and down the elfs arm making a sort of green and red Christmas pattern against his green shirt. After, I proclaimed “payment complete” and kicked him over. My elf said “see you next Christmas” before taking off his rolex as payment as the manager was cursing when we left.
-Mall Santa fml.

New Confession

When I was younger, about 16, I was insatiable and as a result of having my first anonymous hookup with another kid that was 16 (off omegle of all things) I sought to have more.
In this effort I downloaded Grindr and lied about being 18, eventually finding someone who hosted an anon darkroom not even 5 minutes away and who was more than happy leaving their door unlocked and a** ready. After I was invited over and tentatively entered their place I immediately set about u*********, going to nothing in a minute and slowly started up the steps to his room. Once in his room I was approached in the dark by him – a 30-something yr old man who was equally as naked but twice my size – and he reached down and started to blow me once he settled on his knees. Within minutes once I was sufficiently erect I prodded him onto the bed and had him bend over, eventually sliding in without any additional lubrication and begun to – at the age of 16 – f*** this older mans a**. I went for about 20 minutes by my estimation and slowly over the course of the f****** went from doggy, to sideways to having him lie fully down whilst I went to town on him.
Eventually I finished in him and got up and left. Once home I gushed to him about how much fun it was and how I appreciated him taking a chance with me, with some more conversation eventually leading to my age being revealed and – to my own surprise – him revealing that he’d prefer it if we kept going in spite of it. I’d meet him continuously, probably once to 3 times a month or even multiple times in the same week until I moved away at 18. I never saw his face but I remember being inside him so vividly.

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