there’s so many thoughts in my head right now. too many. they all leap off of each other into these horrible conclusions and fears. I can’t stop thinking about it all , even when I try desperately. drugs are the only thing that give me a moment of respite. but this unsustainable. there’s another solution, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. but I’m scared of the people it will hurt if I follow through. they’d get over it eventually, I hope, because I’m the closest I’ve ever been. I just want it to go away
