2 years
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I was at the reception at the sports centre I use setting up a memberships for my sister, when an extremely craggy man storms out of the changing facilities pointing at staff members and demanding toilet paper for one of the changing room toilets.
Side note – I understand toilet paper is a necessity. But this guys manner is totally unreasonable.
The man I was talking to at reception says something through his walkie-talkie, and assures the man that someone will be there ASAP to get him his toilet paper.
Meanwhile, another customer is ordering a slushie from the cafe at reception, and another member of staff stands up to ask –
“Small or large?”
Toilet paper man steps in, not seeing the slushie customer –
“Large toilet paper, what sort of question is that? Do you want to see the size of my s***?”
He quickly realises his mistake as the staff member at the slushie machine points to the other customer and storms off, hopefully to flush his turd down the toilet. Raincandy-Angel

New Confession

One of my mom’s sisters came down to visit her and my mom had a doctor’s appointment and she laughed and my aunt came into my bedroom and she started telling me about her catching her husband with the daughter and I said are you kidding me she said no and so I asked her well what are you going to do about something like that she says well I want to get back at at him for doing that and my daughter I wanted you know get back at them for doing that and I said do they know that you know she goes yeah I walked right in on them right when he was coming inside of her and I said really she goes yes and she said that’s kind of the reason why she’s down here visiting my mom just to get away and I said okay and I said what do you mean get get back at them she says well I want to have s** with you and I looked at I said what and she said yeah. Then I asked you I said does my mom know about this and she said well your mom told me that you and her have been fooling around since your father died and I wanted to have some s** with you myself and I said it’s okay and so she just wrote right in front of me and I never thought my aunt this Aunt anyways would do something like this with me and and so I just wrote and she’s just sitting on my bed right in front of me naked and so I started kissing her and started getting it on and I ended up f****** her and coming inside of her and she says we need to keep doing this until you get me pregnant and I should have what and she said yeah I want to get pregnant by you. I said Mom knows about this and she said yes. So me and my aunt pretty much had s** every day twice a day sometime. She was here for almost a whole month and we did it every single day on the day twice sometime and we both are enjoying each other s******* doing a little bit of k**** things now and then and she was really enjoying me shooting my sperm inside of her she said every time that I did to put it so deep inside of her that she would get pregnant. I got pregnancy test done and she was pregnant when she left here going back to her husband and her daughter so he would know that he was doing the same thing that he was with cheating on her with their daughter and pregnant with my baby inside of her I know he didn’t really care for me at all that’s why she wanted me to do it with her and have s** with her she got really good at it and k**** too on some of the things that we used to do I tied her up a few times really enjoyed that cuz I can do anything I wanted to and I did I made it s*** my c*** a lot and then stick it back inside of her when I was done about to come just to make sure we got her pregnant before she left.

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