M**** P** R******* D***, God f****** damn you. I Hate you so much.
But I love you too.
I don’t know why I love and hate you. I can’t make up my mind.
I romanticize and get all giddy with every interaction we have but you don’t think anything of it, do you?
I’ve had a crush on you for almost 4 months, and I don’t think I can move on soon.
I always want to talk to you but I just f****** can’t. I hate my social anxiety so much and I’m always a shadow to my friends.
My friends are tired of me ranting about every little thing, from your goddamn beautiful smile to your genuine laugh.
I know damn well you’re straight and like someone else but I’m still so gay for you.
I may act cold, but internally, I’m screaming. And besides, I’m quite insensitive to almost everyone. It’s not that I want to be, I just can’t start convos. My social anxiety gets to me even with my close friends and family.
You wouldn’t have time for me, since you’re busy with your volleyball training. Hell, you always have a bunch of missing requirements. I’m surprised you managed to make it to the list of honors but congrats.
You wouldn’t love someone like me, since I don’t love myself. I’m insecure as f*** and I hate it.
The amount of pain this has caused me is bad, but the amount of joy you’ve brought me is good.
You don’t want and need to know who I am if you ever find this. (Which I doubt)
You deserve someone better to love you and give you the best time. I just wish to be a good friend to you.
-Your secret admirer
(putangina ayoko na)
