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a pain
3 years
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I was s******* assaulted as a child by my friend’s older sister when I was in the first grade and she was in the third. I never processed the experience and suppressed it for years. Something triggered me and I remembered everything. I hadn’t seen them since the day of the assault and hadn’t heard from them in probably about 25 years.

The weirdest thing is that I looked her up now and it explains literally everything about my life and in particular, the women I’ve been the most obsessed with.

I don’t know how I feel at all.

New Confession

I don’t feel like I’ll ever be in a romantic relationship. I have thought that for the last 4 years. I know I am young (17, I am fine with revealing this). I know all of the b******* that the life’s ahead of me. But… for me, that’s just empty. I don’t see it. I am all about security, data protection, and all of that, and I just see the world we are living in as a dystopia with depression, suicides and and requirements for being someone worth it at an all time high. I am fat. I barely feel normal. I workout. I try to be social (I actually managed to compliment two strangers today). But it all feels pointless. It really does. Nothing I do seems to matter. I’ll just be another cog in the system. Just another drone for capitalist overlords trying to take every inch of your privacy away. And probably, just another incel, wondering what the f*** have I done wrong (and I mean incel in the way of involuntarily celibate, not actually raging redditors, I hope at least). I feel like nothing. And I feel like everything is out to just… steal from me. Centralistic POV, maybe egoistic, but… Everything I do feels wrong.

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Related Confessions

I don’t feel like I’ll ever be in a romantic relationship. I have thought that for the last 4 years. I know I am young (17, I am fine with revealing this). I know all of the b******* that the life’s ahead of me. But… for me, that’s just empty. I don’t see it. I am all about security, data protection, and all of that, and I just see the world we are living in as a dystopia with depression, suicides and and requirements for being someone worth it at an all time high. I am fat. I barely feel normal. I workout. I try to be social (I actually managed to compliment two strangers today). But it all feels pointless. It really does. Nothing I do seems to matter. I’ll just be another cog in the system. Just another drone for capitalist overlords trying to take every inch of your privacy away. And probably, just another incel, wondering what the f*** have I done wrong (and I mean incel in the way of involuntarily celibate, not actually raging redditors, I hope at least). I feel like nothing. And I feel like everything is out to just… steal from me. Centralistic POV, maybe egoistic, but… Everything I do feels wrong.

3 Views