What I wish I could say:

I am sorry. Please forgive me. I don’t want to lose you forever. I understand. I am sorry. Please please please.

I’ll be good. We can just do it simple. I don’t need you to understand and I am sorry for trying to repeatedly make you understand when it doesn’t really mean anything. I have my issues and I have to work on that and I shouldn’t have been trying to get you to understand when I may not be able to explain.

I’ll be good. I never wanted to lose you. I was stupid, I will admit, I was stupid. But now that you are gone, I see what I am missing. I see I missed my chance, to do the right thing, that I set out to do in the first place. At the start of all of this.

I don’t have a chance to talk to you again, I think. I may be able to find a way one day.

I just don’t want you to be gone… I don’t want this to be the way things ended.

Just, take me back. Allow me back in. I won’t say anything. I’ll just enjoy the opportunity that I have been given. Because I appreciate it now more than ever. You have no idea. The importance you have in my life.

I won’t say anything. I’ll just sit back and enjoy. I just want to be able to tell you that I want to be here for you. I want to fulfil my mission that I set out to accomplish.

Part of me is still thinking like it’s still happening, like it isn’t over yet… I guess I may never be able to fully accept it.