Can't kill myself, can't stop the pain, and it feels like God turned his face from me, I'm a lonely man, I'm neglected by everyone, hated by everyone too

3 years

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Can’t kill myself, can’t stop the pain, and it feels like God turned his face from me, I’m a lonely man, I’m neglected by everyone, hated by everyone too ugly to make friends or talk to women, I’m miserable. Sometimes I feel hopeful other times I’m in the pit of despair, my life is so so fucked up, my family is fucked up, its all on my shoulders to break this curse, and its too heavy of a burden to bear. I just hope something kills me or saves me, cause I’m tired.

New Confession

I hate you and resent you, you never listen and only hear what you wanna hear. You like me but its only conditional and when its convenient for you. You treat me like trash just like everyone else has and walking on eggshells. Any little mistake I make, your awful to me, you’re easily possessive , controlling and get easily jealous if i so much smile at someone yet its okay for you to have friends. You don’t want me to talk to anyone else yet you push me when I want to have a conversation with you. You only halfway listen, and you wonder why I completely shut down and dead inside. I rather live and die alone than feel more alone & isolated around everyone who’ve treated me like a freak. You get mad that I don’t want to be near you yet you’ve mocked me when I was really upset and hurt. I feel trapped and stuck. Im waiting to die, I hate this non-ending cycle pathetic excuse of this life im living. I can’t even escape in my own thoughts, if a god or any other being exists and is listening, please take me away already , why do you let me live ?

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