My mother recently said something that cut me to the bone and it won't stop eating at me. She implied that boys I was friends with in middle and

3 years

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My mother recently said something that cut me to the bone and it won’t stop eating at me. She implied that boys I was friends with in middle and highschool would have loved to f*** me if I offered. She has no concept of how hard it was to make friends for me. I was so ugly that just convincing someone to treat me like a person was excruciating. Being able to build actual friendships was so god-damned hard for me and she wiped her a** with all that work, acting like it was nothing. I know she’s wrong, but it hurts so much and I know that no matter how hard I tried to explain the hurt to her, she would blow me off and say she didn’t mean for it to hurt me.

She’s hurt me more times than anyone could keep track of and has never apologized. Not even once. I hate it. I just want to be treated like a person.

New Confession

I hate you and resent you, you never listen and only hear what you wanna hear. You like me but its only conditional and when its convenient for you. You treat me like trash just like everyone else has and walking on eggshells. Any little mistake I make, your awful to me, you’re easily possessive , controlling and get easily jealous if i so much smile at someone yet its okay for you to have friends. You don’t want me to talk to anyone else yet you push me when I want to have a conversation with you. You only halfway listen, and you wonder why I completely shut down and dead inside. I rather live and die alone than feel more alone & isolated around everyone who’ve treated me like a freak. You get mad that I don’t want to be near you yet you’ve mocked me when I was really upset and hurt. I feel trapped and stuck. Im waiting to die, I hate this non-ending cycle pathetic excuse of this life im living. I can’t even escape in my own thoughts, if a god or any other being exists and is listening, please take me away already , why do you let me live ?

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