I’m secretly submissive and I’ve never told any of my lovers. I know they would be freaked out or see me differently. I was abused a lot and I don’t want them to think it’s because I liked the abuse…because I certainly didn’t.

I want loving d*********. The kind where I feel safe being delicate. That he could put his hands on my throat and I know I am loved and safe. I want to serve him completely and be treated as though I am there to not only love him but pleasure him deeply. I like when my lovers are interested in their own pleasure and how I can supply it. I want them to enact their fantasies on me…lovingly. And hold me after.

I don’t know if I’m messed up or what but I can never say it.