I miss you every day but I’ll never tell you. What happened to ride or die? Why were you so happy to just let me go when I walked away? I can’t believe you just used me. That’s all it was. I thought we were forever, best friends for life, twelve years down the drain and for what? A guy you just met. You haven’t said a word to me since I stopped talking to you, not even when you were told about a huge loss I suffered by another friend. You are beyond forgiveness, I think, even if you did bother to reach out I would tell you that it’s too late.

It’s too late now. Before this, we only ever went maybe a month without talking ONCE. It’s been dead silence from you for almost three years now, and that silence speaks volumes to my value in your life. You are the only person I ever did so much for, I’m a selfish creature by nature but you were the exception. I did so much for you, put in so much effort that I NEVER could have for anyone else and never will for anyone ever again.

You put me in dangerous, illegal and stressful situations but you couldn’t even be there for me when I was suicidal more than once. You couldn’t be generous to me as I was to you, I was always considering your emotions, needs, wants and all of that junk. I’ve learned now that we had a co-dependent relationship and it left its mark on me. I know you were a s***** friend, but all I can do is wonder why I wasn’t good enough for you to chase me when I left.