im in a heavily abusive relationship. me and my boyfriend have been dating for more than 2 years, throughout our relationship we’ve had many heated arguments but it was started to get worse after the first year. at this point im convinced he only loves me for the s** and not for me. even my friends saw how abusive he gets. and its gotten so bad to the point they stopped being friends with me and him. he threatens to leave everytime and the only thing i could do to make him stay is to do it in a way. he just makes the biggest assumptions about me and it hurts. then calls me absurd names and tells me to kms. nobody knows how dark our relationship actually is. and it s**** that i have to say all of this. i remember when one of our friends said that i should leave before im far into deep. truth is im already in far too deep and idk what else to do. theres so much love bombing and such going on and im just ready to give up. its times like this where id rather catch him cheating instead of him saying all these mean things. sometimes i regret that i even met him at all. now im having a big party and hes my suitor for my last dance and i dont know what to do or how to feel. but when he does try to leave i get so upset and distraught. i know theres more fish in the sea but i just cant leave for some reason. im not looking for any advice i just want to confess this because its been stuck on my shoulders for so long and the weight just keeps getting bigger and bigger. i still love him very much. hes so caring and sweet and extremely generous when we have our good moments. but this isn’t something i want to keep. i wish he could change.
