I want to tell my father everything. I want to tell him what he has done to me. The mental damage he’s inflicted. The way he destroyed me. Is it justified? Is it justified if he was also struggling? I don’t know. I keep asking myself if what he’s done can be justified because maybe I’m just a sensitive overthinkung b****. Maybe I’m the problem for not accepting the past and moving on. I haven’t cried in a while. And i’m happy my depression is improving but sometimes, the personality traits you broke and changed in me father, will remain. I’m still broken. Into many, many pieces. And the edges are sharp. I’m in a mental state where I will begin to isolate and avoid myself. I will not consider how other people feel. You changed me. You made me different. I blame you a lot. It sounds f****** cringe I know, but i just want to blame you father. You ruined my mental health. You ruined me and made me cope in unhealthy ways. I hate talking to people. I self-harm when I panic. Loud noises scare me and I will breakdown and cry if I hear any. I will interally blame myself for every little mistake. I try to do everything perfectly because I want people to think highly of me. I am a people pleaser. I want to be good enough in your eyes.