If you want a child, be mentally prepared for it. Do not discipline your child through fear. Just because you think it’s “easier” doesn’t mean it’s correct. You are affecting your child’s personality and mental health. They will grow up and distance themself away from you. As a victim of it, I don’t talk to my father except for lunch and dinner. It’s difficult. I’m stil afraid, and I’m scared. I do not care for my own feelings and I’m a people pleaser. The reason i became a people pleaser is because it was my way of survival. Fitting the standards of a certain person, and being perfect to them so they won’t treat you like s***. It’s ingrained in my brain. It’s so difficult to change myself. I don’t know how to think of my own feelings and my own emotions because I’m too busy wanting to be perfect in other people’s eyes. My father was mentally ill when I was a child because of his work environment and being in a country he hated. I don’t know if this can justify the effect he has put on me. I know he was going through his own issues, I know he was struggling, but why did I also have to struggle? I was young and naïve and you made me think that I can’t cry or feel emotions. That I cannot be my own person because I need to be perfect to you so I don’t get hurt.