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a pain
3 years
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Its been 3 years and I still can’t move on from you. I’m always back at ground-zero whenever anything (and I mean ANYTHING) about you crosses my mind. We did things that we thought are for our benifits but we are mistaken. It made us more distant again becuase of our temporary time together, which is a lesson we hardly learned. Each time I worry of what have you been or what has become of you. I pray yet I sin so I feel guilty and piled up about everything. This mess of a situation is for mine to atone, although I confess that sometimes I wished you can feel my pain for a second too. “As long as we live” right? That phrase of yours gave me more comfort than a long night sleep, and I realize all I need to do is to have faith in me too. God has great plans for the both of us. You are doing your best my beloved, and I will.

I hope this reaches you Aynie.

BDO 😉

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I could’ve had thousands of men. my pick. old young. all walks of life. and some women even. my extreme trust issues and fear of intimacy has made me paralyzingly alone in my mid 30s. Ill be forever alone and lonely without anyone. I’ve blown so many opportunities for hookups and great relationships and connections. The regrets is staggering and painful. Deeply painful.

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I could’ve had thousands of men. my pick. old young. all walks of life. and some women even. my extreme trust issues and fear of intimacy has made me paralyzingly alone in my mid 30s. Ill be forever alone and lonely without anyone. I’ve blown so many opportunities for hookups and great relationships and connections. The regrets is staggering and painful. Deeply painful.

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