the truth is i do hate you,
but the reason is not at any fault of your own,
instead for lack thereof;
you are all things i wish to be.
you take up so much space in my brain.
id be lying if i said i didn’t know why.
you don’t even need to try, yet you are perfect.
so perfect, that you are even hated for it.
id never tell you this, but i feel like somehow you already know.
the sound of your voice makes me want to scream in pain.
the shapes that make up your face make me want to never look at my own ever again.
i may have my own good qualities, but they could never amount to yours, no matter how hard i’d try.
that’s the thing, you don’t even have to.
and i hate you for it.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
it’s been years, why do i still feel this way?
how could i not hate you?
how could jealousy not consume my every waking moment?
how is it possible to live life aware of your existence and still feel any self worth?
compared to you, i am nothing.
which is why i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i think i always will.
and for that, i am sorry.
but not really