My family members are really manipulative and destroying my mental health. I dont want to live with them but i have no choice. They provoke me so badly

3 years

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My family members are really manipulative and destroying my mental health. I dont want to live with them but i have no choice. They provoke me so badly and when i cannot stand it and react to them, they act like victims and says they didn’t do anything. i tried my best not to react to their hurtful things they keep saying, but i always end up crying. i want to show that i am strong and i can take it, but always fails. i either cry or be aggressive. I even called many bad words and i know that it’s wrong. They use this as a weapon against me, and my family especially my mom, calls the relatives and act like a victims, and tells that she didn’t do anything, did not curse me and so on…..then the fricking idiotic relatives gives me advise like to listen to them, AND FORGIVE. when i tell them what i am facing, they just think it is minor, and claims “they tell u for ur own gud.” Really bruh? Cursing them, telling me to rot in hell, be a beggar, a wh***, and all that for gud right???. They will never understand bro. And my mom is really gud in making stories and really manipulative. I thought i could trust my sister, but she did an uno reverse. She have soo much of revenge and even keeps a small petty things in her head. Really selfish. i have nobody who can understand me in my house. i do have friends, but i am scared of what they will think about me. But they are really good. they did tell me to ignore and keep quite, but i cant. i am tired of crying. and once, when i cried in front of my family, cuz i couldn’t take it anymore, they told it is fake crying and called me a drama queen. She even told that no one is going to fall for your tears and belive u (yes , she is right no one can understand me). If this keep going on, i might really do something illegal, or something can go wrong.

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