I have never understood it. Did not understand it at 15 when I woke to her saying my name and opened my eyes to see her standing naked by my bed. I told

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I have never understood it. Did not understand it at 15 when I woke to her saying my name and opened my eyes to see her standing naked by my bed. I told her i did not understand when she slipped into my bed and fondled me erect. She told me i only needed to understand that she needed this. Then she straddled my hips and impaled herself on me and told me to hold on as long as I could for her then she slowly rocked on top of me. When i told her i could not hold on any more and began to cry out she put her hand tightly over my mouth as I came. When i was no longer moaning under her hand she took it away and let me catch my breath as she slid off me and slid down me and took her in her mouth to keep me erect, then pulled me on top of her and guided me back into her. I began to thrust but she held me tightly to her and into her and told me to just stay deep and grind. I was nearly blubbering and again saying i did not understand but she put her hand to my mouth again and began to move under me. She just pulled my head to her neck and muttered again to just understand that she needed this. Moments after i came in her again she left without another word. The next morning it was as if it had not happened. Unspoken.

I lay awake all night the next night hoping she would return. To help me understand why this had happened. But it was two weeks before she returned. As before she climbed on me and ground for a long slow time but this time her hands were around my throat. I did not yet understand that her going tense and exhaling loudly meant she had had an o***** atop me. But then she climbed down lay back and again pulled me on top of and into her. This time zhe only said “now f*** me”. I leaned down laying on her and tried to kiss her but she got angry and slapped my face brutally. I was in tears again saying i did not understand. Ahe put her hands back on my throat and told me “i said f*** me”. Her hands tightened more the harder i thrust. But i was too scared and confused to not do as I was told. She met me thrust for thrust with her legs locked around me and finally ordered me to give her what she wanted. She let go of my throat when my body emptied into her giving her what she wanted.

From then on she would return every few nights. No l********* no talking. Sometimes she only came to me so that she could literally sink her teeth into my erection or nearly crush my testicles in her grip as her mouth took what she wanted. Other tomes she would simply straddle my face and grind on my mouth as i learned with no instruction to give oral s**. Sometimes she woild simply climb on my head head down a** up and tell me “f*** me”. But those were the only words she spoke.

To this day I have never understood we have never spoken of it. And yet at 30 i still live with my mother with only the understanding being what she said that first night at 15. That this was what she needed.

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I’m not racist, but I don’t like n******.

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I’m a female, nineteen years old, nothing special about me tbh although I seem to be a lot interesting to guys twice my age. I’m not that attractive but I was almost raped by my cousin when I was eight. I’m an only child and that’s my misery, everyone thinks I’m spoiled while I’m broke. I was raised by my mother, being a burden and a debt to her but I was unaware that after I grow up, I’ll have to repay everything. My mother sold her body in order to earn money, about which I always knew because there were a lot of men and women who visited the house we lived in, I decided to stay silent about it and nobody knew where my father is, my mother said he’s a bad guy. I turned fifteen and my mother introduced me to a man in his thirties, who has a wife and a child already. I was against it, but she said that he won’t be having s*x with me, he’ll just touch and groom me until I get into adulthood but nightmare came soon. She fell into poverty and made me have s** with him, that night is hunting and painful, I can still feel the pain in my private part when I remember it, I bled a lot, my innocence was took away from me at sixteen. After that, my mother showed me to two more men, introduced me to them, made me sleep with them for money, saying that it’s all for my future. F*ck you mother.