3 years
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My 18th birthday will be on January 8, 2023. But I’m still stuck in my 8-year-old me. I’m still stuck in my household, without a single freedom from my mom. I’m almost 18, yet I feel caged up with my mom’s feelings to protect me from the outside world when in fact, I don’t want to be a prisoner. I don’t want to be with her. I want to explore on my own. Don’t get me wrong; they’re not abusive. But too much love is bad for me. Too much protection is bad for me. I hate her with all my heart, yet I feel stuck knowing she only does this because of her past. But I still can’t help but love her, with the same amount of hate. I feel suffocated. I can’t go out with my friends at night because she’ll get mad and check the CCTV camera. I hate that I can tell her how much my boyfriend means to me because she’ll get mad and call my boyfriend and break us up. I hate how much I hate her because I know I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t hate someone I can relate to.

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