4 years
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I’m in the middle of a panic attack triggered by a profound sense of loneliness and self hatred. I just wish someone would just let me myself instead of trying fill me up with more anxiety and stress. All I want is for people in my life to just listen for once and respect my thoughts. But no one cares literally no one listens I say do a thing and they do the literal opposite. I don’t want to be angry but I feel I have to be extreme in my emotions to take me even remotely seriously. I just want, infact I don’t even know what I want, I know there’s no magic person that’ll just come along and fix everything. I have to take my own happiness into my hands, I just wanna be happy for one day without breaking down and crying myself to sleep every night. It’s 2AM I can’t sleep, I feel like I’m in a straight jacket, I can’t breathe, I’m warm not in a comfortable way. I wish I was just wiped out of existence in a flash, like just gone no memory left behind, nothing. I’m not brave enough to kill myself to scared of the pain and potential damage I can cause to everyone around me. Panic attack still not dissipating I think I’ll just take sleep pill or two.

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