I need to give up on you but I cant.

4 years

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New Confession

I snuck outside at Parents’ Night to smoke a cigarette in the parking lot. I saw another glow in the faint light of the parking lot, and walked toward a mom smoking behind her Range Rover. We laughed about sneaking around, but five minutes later, she was on her knees in the grass sucking my c***, and after a while she had opened the door and was face-down across the back seat while I pumped into her sweet p**** from behind.

When I orgasmed, I collapsed across her back and filled her gorgeous preppy p**** with my load.

God, I love my job!

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I wish I was worthy of love and praise, that I was someone worth spiritual connection with. Every time I read one of these vague love letters I end up wishing it was for me even though they’re obviously not and never will be. I miss Jason. I miss feeling human. I miss feeling safe. I will never be able to feel that way again without him because I’ve learned my lesson and I will never trust another human being besides him again. The risk isn’t worth it because his care has been the only reward I’ve gained from trusting people in my life. He’s the only one worth trusting without fear.