I’m back here. This time it’s not about him. Well, for the most part. That’s taken a back seat. I think for the first time I don’t think about it daily. Especially over recent weeks.

But here I find myself again, heart heavy, wondering if it’s de ja vu. I don’t know what to think. I’m probably overreacting as ever. Mind you, the last mixed messages weren’t a good sign. I just feel like I’m being string along.

I thought this time was different. For once it was someone I actually liked back. Cute. Wholesome. Wanted what I want… Or so I thought. Now I don’t know. Is he busy? Or is this another case of “straight acting”. I wait on his messages and he’s the only one I want to talk to.

Do I deserve it? What do I do wrong to drive people away?

All I want is to fall in love again. Nothing more, nothing less.

What I crave more than anything is to look at someone and feel it in my chest.

Maybe it’s just not this time around.

I’ll keep going, one day at a time x