Why does my dad shout at my mom and use her as his verbal punching bag just because he never learned how to control his emotions like a f****** baby? and I also can’t seem to control my emotions like a f****** baby. The difference is that is supposed to be his partner he chose to marry and to get pregnant and ruin the future of and I am with people who are completely different from me that think acting like children is alright. I understand my mom since she had to grow up fast and the household she grew up in is even more manipulative and ignorant (believe gossip over fact checking) but my dad, he is just a spoiled brat who never grew up, he can’t be wrong, he refuses to hear someone out, he breathes down my neck, never leaving space for me to be independent. (I don’t mean he does not let me go out with friends which he also is strict about but idc, I mean he does not let me go out and walk on a decently safe area alone on broad daylight, he also does not want me to learn how to drive, cook with oil or still checks when i sleep and wakes me up even though I am almost an adult, like a few months away ik I am whining and sound like I am 12 but no I am a few months away, adulthood is not 16 where I live also) And I am so scared to be just like him because I don’t have a grasp on my temper. I hit myself with objects to control it but I know that is not ideal or will make my temper outbursts stop for good but what else can I do when it is that or making it someone else’s problem. I have tried therapy (after 3 yrs of begging, my mom even got offended I don’t use her as my tehrapist but whenever I am depressed she just tells me to get busy with something else and it will go away) but ngl I feel therapy doesn’t do s*** since it is really hard for me to talk about something like that maybe something like group therapy would be more useful but what am I supposed to tell my parents I go there for? I srsly don’t trust them enough for them to know I harm myself also is it really sh if I just hit myself with objects, I mean I don’t cut. How bad is it really sometimes like what if I never stopped, who does it hurt except myself? People smoke and drink all the time with the same purposes and it probably causes more damage to them. My main reason is ik it won’t help longterm and if I have a partner one day I don’t want them to worry, also one time I did do it pretty badly (had a huge green bruise on my left arm) and someone I care about almost caught on. I am scared to worry somebody to that extent but in the heat of the moment I don’t care about that anymore and just want to feel grounded. Also I usually don’t bruise that bad, only a few green spots or even sometimes nothing. I feel stuck. I have no idea how to do a permanent change. Sometimes I have all the attitude to change for the better but it never lasts too long.