I feel like i don't belong or feel loved by my family, my mom especially they constantly criticize me while they praise and compliment my siblings, they

4 years

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I feel like i don’t belong or feel loved by my family, my mom especially
they constantly criticize me while they praise and compliment my siblings, they also are more harsh on me but give me the least respect in return

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I like ✝️ dressing, wearing her cute undies, they hold my litte manhood so nice.

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Nobody cares about me and I wish no one had ever lied and said they did. It hurts so much some days that I can barely breathe. I don’t know how to break away from being dependent and learn how to show up for myself when everyone else has always failed to. I don’t know how anyone does anything. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make it in this world alone and I hate myself for it. I am a leech and a burden.