f*** you J! I can’t believe you went crazy on me when I went to visit you in Oregon . You were not the man I fell in love with back in May. I guess what they say is true about watching out how a man acts in person versus how they act over the phone. Although we have not seen each other in 10 years, we still kept in touch over the years— calling each other often and telling each other our deepest secrets and going ons in our lives. The fact that I saw you in person and you disrespected me with your words and actions made me lose respect for you. It s**** because I really did love you and saw a future with you, but I must not ignore red flags. You are f****** crazy. It’s up to me now whether to block you from my life entirely due to the pain and trauma you caused me. Or to keep talking to you since the p******** is fun. Also, I hate the fact that you see me as just a friend with benefits, and that you think we’re in an open relationship. This is not what I wanted considering I do have feelings for you! But at the same time, if I can remind myself that you’re not who I really thought you were, and that you do have a history of violence and disrespect, and that the things you did and said are non-negotiable in terms of what I want in a friendship or partner, then this helps me move on. To let go or not? This is the hard part considering you’re the only real friend I have in my life. There’s nobody else.
