I don’t think anyone would notice if I disappeared, or died. Even my job I think would take a day or two to even raise an eyebrow. I think the only reason I haven’t killed myself by now is because of my cat. I don’t want to leave him behind and no one would care for him well enough. I know that he would miss me, if no one else would.
Sometimes I think about how freeing it would be to start my life over, clean slate. No memories, no friends, a new place where no one knows me. I have people I call friends and family now but I feel so alone around them. It almost hurts more to think about them and feel like they don’t care than it would to be truly alone.