It feels weird to have the person you love most in this world also be the one who causes you the most pain. I love her, but some days I’d rather eat a bullet than ever speak to her again. She’s abusive, manipulative, and completely unfair with how she treats me versus my siblings. But she’s also generous, an animal lover, and has done a lot for me.

I just want to die. I’m slowly killing myself through energy drinks because I’m too much of a coward to eat a bullet. I can’t stand her and have no way to move out. I just can’t do it anymore. Maybe I’ll just walk into traffic.