I end up seeing him more than last year.
I told myself that the infatuation would wear off but it’s been close to 8 months of nonstop obsession over a person I know the bare minimum about.
This is an open letter, I just need to let this out and hope no one I know ever finds it. Before I free write, stay safe Simply confessors.
.
.
Classes resume and I end up in 3 out of 6 with him. I was half hoping half not. Again, I want this to fade really. We’re rtistically inclined in similarly subjects,and I told myself I wasn’t going to date someone untill I met someone who was intrested in the same things as me. Well, shot luck I guess, because not only are we in theater and a music class, but also math. Even worse? I think I’m doing pretty decent, but I think he’s better than me.
Over the few days he saw me singing in the hallway during a class and we made eye contact.
Is it creepy that making eyes with someone makes me so nervous? I’ve never truly talked with you, only 3 times really and mostly in passing. But everytime I catch your eye I get nervous, like the kind of nervous where your stomache gets heavy and you forget what you were supposed to be doing, ie I fucked up what I was playing on the keyboard at the time lol.
But I know he’s probably got someone, because would make s*** 0 sense of he didn’t. He’s good looking, nice, and just out of my league enough that I know deep in my bones that I shouldn’t talk to him. I’ve got my fair share of love and dont want to cause anymore problems than I already have.
Then again, I still freeze like a deer in headlights when I see him. What should I do? I know here isn’t the most conventional place to reply, nor do I think most people would read this far. I’m so f****** nervous someone would find this and know it was me, but that’s the most unlikely outcome.
I am terrible with words, but one day I hope to at least talk once again. Maybe even a piano duet like the one from months ago. Why am I still hung up on that? I don’t know. I’ll let my music express this rather than my tongue.
