I want to be religious but I cant. Im not even talking about any specific religion, I only want to feel protected and like there is something out there watching out for us. Ive tried praying to so many different gods and doing so much research. I always end up angry. I cant believe that there is anyone out there if they allow this stuff to happen. My family abuses drugs and eachother and every time I try and get away from them something happens and I get shoved back in. If there is a god who is watching me, I dont want to pray to them when theyve never done anything to help. It feels like Im missing something in the spiritual department but I feel so hurt and betrayed whenever I try to do something about it. I dont know what to do anymore besides just give up on it entirely.
