I’ve been clean for 10 years, but every day lately I want to go back. I want to be high. Euphoric. I’m tired of hurting. I want real, genuine love, affection and connection. I thought I had it, but it was all lies. He kept his happy little family, and I’m left with this emptiness. I’m so bitter and hateful now. I fantasize about burning his house to the ground with them inside it.