i’m a trans guy, in my teens. since 6th grade i’ve been suffering from eating disorders. started with anorexia, gradually changed to ednos, then bulimia, ednos again, then i “recovered” but now i’m back to what’s probably anorexia. having an ed makes me so dysphoric. it’s called a “girl disorder” so often and this is fucked up but seeing cis guys with eds makes me jealous. i wish i was a cis guy, and i could be, like, “the *guy* with an ed”. i’m not out as trans to anyone except my best friend, and present pretty feminine because i find it easier to just pretend like i’m a normal, pretty cis girl than trying to pass as a guy when i know i’ll just look like ugly and everyone will assume i’m a lesbian or something. i just wish i was cis and could be a cis guy with an ed instead of being a “girl” with one and feeling like i’m playing into stereotypes when it’s not even really true to me. i’m not a girl with an ed, i’m a guy with it. but no one knows that. i don’t know. i feel so f****** down right now i didn’t know where to even say this