It has been so hard to not want a relationship with the person im sleeping with. She’s poly and she has a partner who she cares about- I have no desire to be in any kind of open relationship. Really I just want to be in a relationship so badly that I’m ignoring all her own red flags, ignoring that she’s not even really my type, and choosing instead to remember only the good moments.
She was my first, I love her body, I love how intelligent she is, and how clever, but I don’t think I could really love her and still I fantasize about us as a couple constantly.
This all coming up now because I just found her on a really small app for lonely people and I knew it was her just by her vague bio before she even put a picture up. I hope she doesnt know I’m on there.
I want to text her so we can just go out and do something. But if she turns me down I’ll feel awful and even if she says yes I’m torturing myself with this dream of romance when its just s** and banter.
I need a solution.
