One and a half years ago, I had a short "situationship" with a guy (I'm a woman). He now lives in another continent and we ended on a really bad note, so

4 years

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One and a half years ago, I had a short “situationship” with a guy (I’m a woman). He now lives in another continent and we ended on a really bad note, so chances we will ever reconnect are close to zero.
I’ve to this day never fully stopped thinking about him. There are weeks where I see a lot of people, exercise, enjoy life and I don’t think about him much. But as soon as that stops the loneliness and the thoughts and the emotions creeps back in. Part of the problem is that I haven’t found anyone I am as attracted to as I was to him. Physically he was my type, he was just as smart as me and I always felt so at ease around him. Kissing him for the first time was such a pleasant surprise, and I never got to fully sate my s***** curiosity for him, because we ended after barely three months.

I remember a time where we were quietly working beside each other on our computers, and I don’t think I’d ever been so happy before. I could feel all the cells in my body both blissing out in ecstasy and feeling completely peaceful and grounded (never had that feeling with anyone).

New Confession

To be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.

The Puppet Master

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My ex would s******* harrass me every day, if that is the word. Force me to show him my body, show him myself m***********, pleasure him since we were long-distance. Whenever I said no, it would be begging all night until I gave in. So I stopped saying no in fear of him leaving me, embarrassing me, sending the photos out. But now, a year after him, I still imagine what it would be like if we did have s**. I imagine it when I’m alone, about how he’d topple over me, guide me through it with a soft voice as he deflowered me. How his rough hands would grab me and pull me hair like how he would describe to me. How he said he wanted me to be choking to the point I nearly threw up. How he wanted his hand on my stomach as he plowed. I pray every day that I never see him again, but I pray that the sin of my desires is attained first.