How I figured out im not a lesbian happened in april, I have this semi-buff guy friend. Me him and my other friends were in a call on discord, and he turned his camera on. I dont know what happened but at that moment I felt very attracted to him to the point where I couldnt look at him. Then it happened with a classmate who looks similar to that gay artist whos honestly my celebrity crush, and i gained a crush on that class mate but i unfortunately never got to tell him. At this point i was content with the fact that i wasnt a lesbian, quite the opposite really. To be honest, Ive always secretly felt like a man, but due to identifying as a lesbian I couldnt express that feeling. I dont experience a lot of dysphoria despite people saying you “need to have dysphoria to be trans” or whatever, its just a comfort thing with me. I feel alright with my current body and i feel happy with just mentally perceiving myself differently than what the world sees. Theres just one thing that really bothers me, is that none of my friends know. Actually no one in the world besides me knows . Dont get me wrong, 90% of my friends are gay and would be completely fine with me feeling this way. But I feel like theyd treat me differently, not in drastic ways but in small ways. I feel like theyd baby me and see me as a stereotypical teenage trans guy, feminine, dysphoric about everything, youthful, etc. I dont want that, I dont want them to unnecessarily “validate” my identity because the only persons opinion about my identity that really matters is mine. You cant change someones identity just with verbally telling them. I want them to know im completely happy with my body, personality, and mentality. Treat me like im cisgender, I wish I couldve realized who I was sooner so that i could tell them sooner and theyd warm up to it. And on a less serious note that artist was my gay awakening, my buff guy friend just made me confirm that i liked men. But that artist was the first who actually made me question my s********, even though saying this sounds contradicting i would now like to credit him with helping me realize who I really am, not that he made me this way like i said, but helping me realize. A confession board is really the only place where i can say this
