My mother reflects her insecurities on me daily. It’s gotten so bad to the point I can’t talk with her unless I want to feel like s*** at the end of it all. She finds ways to call me fat whilst also claiming she wants a body like me. She subtly calls me ugly and undesirable whilst also saying I’m the most prettiest and intelligent girl she knows. According to her I’m selfish, a liar and a cheat. But it’s okay because she loves me and that’s enough. I couldn’t have proper friendships without her telling me that I was their basket case or a rug. That I let them walk all over me and that was the only reason they hung around. I can’t talk to her about romantic relationships without her telling me they are playing me and aren’t actually interested. She depends on me for everything and I suffer because of it. I harm myself. But she doesn’t see it as that. She thinks I do it to get back at her. I am dying here. I have no friends. And I feel so alone all the time.
