When I was in 7th grade I was very excited and happy. With a new school and new friends to make, it felt like an adventure. I did what I wanted to do and I was having so much fun that I was hurting people without even noticing it. I never thought of my actions until the 8th grade where I finally reflected on all my wrongdoings. I realized I was a bully. I knew I had to change. All my old friends were gone and I felt alone. So I messaged everyone I knew I “bullied” and apologized for what I’ve done to them and thankfully, most of them forgave me. It was still shocking that I have hurt so many people. This gave me anxiety and a little depression. It also lowered my self-esteem and confidence. I became socially anxious about everything. I was scared of what people thought of me and I thought people were always judging my every move and hating me no matter what. This went on for the rest of my 8th year and now I am in 9th grade. I’ve slowly come out of my shell and started talking to some of my classmates. One said that I have changed and that makes me happy. But my social anxiety hasn’t fully disappeared yet. I am still scared of talking to people and I fear that I may be alone again. I only have little friends so I tend to cling to them. I’m afraid that I may be too clingy to them and they’ll leave me so I’m trying to give them space. Now, I feel like my friends are drifting away from me and I have no one to talk to anymore but I’m hopeful that whatever happens, I’ll always know that I tried my best to become good.
