i want to die, like i dont want to put my family and friends through pain and i dont want to be selfish but i just need a break from life. I suffer from bpd and im so sick of feeling emotions 100% of the time at 100% capacity it is taking everything from me. my therapy sessions are helping but i just cant stop this overwhelming urge to just kms, or be put away or just fall asleep and never wake up. i dont want to tell anyone im suicidal cause i dont want to hurt them and i also dont want help cause thats embarassing i just want to get better on my own and if thats not possible then i just need to know now so i can die. im sick of waiting for things to get better im so tired and im so done with life. i harm myself very smartly no nobody knows or a make silly excuses like i fell over or i was drunk and accidentally burnt myself but im so sick of the lies and pretending im okay so i just wanr this to be over with.