I realize I’m not going to be loved. I feel like people can sense that I was broken at some point because of abuse and r*** I experienced. Even if I don’t say anything or skip details, it’s like they can tell. They can tell who to avoid. Doesn’t matter if I’m doing better, act strong, entertain people… it’s like this invisible stain I can’t get rid of. In that aspect I understand why the guy I like has no interest in me. I bet he can tell too. I’m pathetic and for someone who is all about goals and accomplishments, I must have no value. Because back then all of my plans shattered. There’s things I enjoy, like, love, I have some stuff I want to experience- but it’s nothing compared to who I was before. And especially nothing compared to him. Good on him for not chosing me, to be honest.