When i was dating my last girlfriend, she was manipulating me, mentally abusing me, and cheating on me the entire time. I tell people i didn’t know and that she eventually just got bored of me and broke up. But I did know, I knew for 6 months before I broke up with her. I knew for 6 months what she was doing and I let it happen because I am just that pathetic. And I tell others she broke up with me because that way me still caring for her seems more okay, because if she broke my heart suddenly it’s okay for me to still have feelings because I still haven’t come to terms with it. But no, I knew, and I did come to terms with it and I was the one who broke it off, yet despite that I still have feelings for her because I feel so worthless, so pathetic so unlovable that I think that maybe a fake relationship was the only relationship that i’ll ever have, that maybe i deserve to be mentally abused and that she was the closest i’ll ever get to real romance