I chased a friend away through a series of mistakes… I’m constantly trying to improve myself for my sake yet… I’m scared if I see her again she’ll just force me into a scenario where those corrections that I am/are working towards will be undone.

I loved her… a lot… Some could say it was more of lust at times. I wanted her badly… yet even if I just desire her as a friend instead of a lover… the fact I couldn’t let that go ruined her view of me.

I am improving, I know I am… and recently I came to a conclusion… I don’t want to see her again… Because I hate her. I hate her. I hate her not because I think she’s a bad person… Its because I failed her. I can’t bare to be near her and so I hate her.