her name is destiny. we were best friends for years. but i was completely and underly in love with her but i never told her because i didn’t wanna ruin our friendship. but i didn’t anyways, she started hanging out with other people and i got so jealous it drove me crazy. i became obsessive and it scared her away. we didn’t talk for 2 years. but i thought about her every single day. she contacted me a few months ago and we hung out a few times. she had a girlfriend but in spite i couldn’t help but feel everything for her all over again. then her girlfriend cheated and i finally thought i had a chance. we sat on her back porch and smoked and talked and i kept looking at her, i remember thinking to myself how beautiful i thought she looked. it caught me by surprise when she caught me staring and said i wanted to kiss her. i was stoned and embarrassed so i denied it. then we talked about me going to homecoming with her. i was so excited. i took her to dinner after we hung out and when we dropped her off she never spoke to me again. she runs through my mind all day everyday and i tried getting over her by getting into a relationship but i can’t help but hate myself for not kissing her in that moment. i dreamed about kissing her for so long and i didn’t do it. i will forever hate myself for that.