I feel really bad all the time and honestly sometimes I just stare at my ceiling and wonder how long do I have to wait until my time is up and I just drop dead I fear what will happen after life but my white mum don’t give two shits how I feel and my Asian dad just called me a retard just because I was diagnosed with mild adhd as a kid,I feel like a d*** because I don’t really have any giant hard ship to explain why I feel like this I have a home to sleep in parents who sometimes complement me when there not telling me to do the dishwasher,pick up my brothers shoes or look after my sisters baby I’ve been an uncle since the age of 12 but I feel like one of those b****** of dad’s who get given the kid then the mum takes him for a few days I guess the only time I feel calm is those times I stare at the ceiling in my room because At least then I feel the cold yet warm relief of being unconscious