I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years now. Two years ago I found out that he was cheating throughout our whole relationship with numerous girls. He was on dating apps etc. After I found out we spoke about it a lot but he would get angry at me for bringing it up. I was not allowed to mention it. We had a lot of s**. We didn’t end up breaking up, we are still together. We hardly have s** anymore, it’s like how it was two years into our relationship, when he was cheating the most. He didn’t have s** with me much, but he had always had a very high s** drive. He gets angry with me if I bring up my feelings, it can be about anything, I don’t mention the cheating ever because it’s been two years. I used to have his social media info but now he moved me out of it. It seems like he’s cheating but I have a feeling he’s not, this is because I am on the phone to him the whole day nearly. He calls me every time he goes out too, I can check when he’s actually at the gym. He doesn’t have any friends anymore so he’s always home and talking to me or playing PlayStation with me. So I know that he is not cheating.
A year after I found out about him cheating, I had decided to make my own profile on a dating app. I started meeting people and having s** with them. I have been doing this ever since. He doesn’t know. He thinks I would never cheat on him. I have a very high s** drive and I am not getting anything from him. We don’t even talk about s**, it feels embarrassing.
I still want to marry him. He claims to want to marry me too but he doesn’t ever talk about it and gets angry when I do.
I am in such a s*** place in my life and I don’t know what I’m doing.
