Am a girl. Well I left a girl some time ago. I paid attention more to friends in a new game/discord than her and was no longer interetesed in the relationship but in retrospect I’m glad I left, I really was losing interest and I’m glad I let her find someone who will treat her better, it’s not fair I did what I did and looking back I have been nearly unfaithful many times. It’s not fair to her. But against my sense I began to fall for a guy I met during this time. I love him a lot. I feel differently in this relationship, I feel jaded in a good way. It doesn’t feel like it HAS to be forever (not that girlfriend pushed it in that direction). But I want to for other reaosns commit suicide. For a depression without a root that I can’t explain. Girlfriend helped me through it I thought it was gone guess it didn’t. Boyfriend is trying to help I thought it left again. But for the first time in a year I am having suicidal thoughts again. I can’t do it anymore. I am sorry. Part of the reason I left the girlfriend was because if I hurt myself she wouldn’t have to deal with it. To my current boyfriend if I f*** up and get the courage to kill myself I’m sorry to put you through the pain. I don’t want to. I’m sorry to my ex and my boyfriend. To my ex I hope you don’t have to think of me again, I hope you’re happy I’m gone or you understand why it’s better I am, to my boyfriend I’m sorry please it’s early in the relationship there are lots of other places to find love probably better than me. To my family I’m even more sorry. I’ll try not to do it. But I want to very bad.